Different Places and Miscommunications
by potatopug
Summary: Maggie and Alex are in similar places, but they aren't having the same conversation. Set after 2x07.


Maggie's head was reeling as she watched Alex walk away from her in the parking garage. There was so much happening in such a short span of time and she didn't know how to process it all, couldn't even think of where to begin.

She also felt like she'd just been punched in the gut, her insides twisting at the look of frustration and pain in Alex's eyes. She just didn't get it – didn't get how the words she was saying somehow weren't the same words that Alex was hearing. That Alex could stand right in front of her and say with such finality that they weren't friends, because...

Because Maggie didn't want her? The sting of tears in her eyes hit her at the same moment as the breath in her lungs came to a painful standstill. Hadn't Maggie told her – hadn't she explained that it wasn't her feelings that prevented her from giving in, but the situation itself? Sure, she'd tried to cushion the blow, and maybe... maybe that was where Alex's confusion came from.

Because she'd even said, just now, that she liked Alex. But clearly those words hadn't landed, hadn't resonated, because Alex just walked away like... like they were nothing, like they _had_ nothing, which wasn't true, no matter how much she held back. They _were_ something, dammit, but whatever it was that had been building between them had broken. And Maggie, who'd been keeping Alex at a distance, who'd pushed her away to avoid that exact inevitable conclusion, felt the pain of that break to the depths of her soul.

When Alex had showed up at the alien bar, proudly proclaiming that she'd told Kara, that she'd come out and was ready for the promised drink... Maggie had felt like she was fighting a losing battle, because she didn't even hesitate to pull Alex into a hug, had let herself sink into it, wrapping her arms around Alex tightly, but briefly. And she'd noticed how well they fit together, how perfect it felt to hold Alex, to feel her racing heartbeat against her chest.

And then when Alex had kissed her, she gave in for just a moment, relaxing into it, holding Alex gently, savouring the moment because she knew it couldn't last. And when she pulled back, she could see the confusion in Alex's eyes, the questions, the razor's edge of fear.

But she couldn't be with Alex, not when she was just realising who she was, not when there was a chance that Maggie wouldn't live up to all of her expectations...

Because that's what Maggie was really afraid of, not that Alex wouldn't be enough for her, but that _she_ wouldn't be enough for _Alex_. And how could she _not_ like her? Alex was strong and tough and smart and a damn good DEO agent, and hell, Alex was friends with _Supergirl_ , and Maggie didn't think she could measure up.

But even though she'd told Alex that she couldn't be more than friends, that she couldn't get involved when Alex was still just beginning this journey, she still felt drawn to her, felt amazed that the feeling was reciprocated, that somehow Alex Danvers had noticed her.

But it wasn't enough, and she knew it, even if Alex didn't. She could rationalise it every which way and she knew it would still all be bullshit; the truth was, she knew that Alex could break her if she gave in to her feelings, and so the easier option was to just not let that happen.

And she was pretty sure she'd made the right decision, and that she and Alex could continue their friendship like nothing had happened, but she was so incredibly wrong, because Alex was in pain and Maggie was the cause, and the reason for Alex's doubt was also incredibly wrong.

Because Maggie _did_ want her, she wanted her so much that her entire body ached. Longing mixed with loss and she felt it in her bones; and hearing that what little she'd had of Alex, her friendship, was gone, was done, was over, and seeing the anguish written all over Alex's face, and watching Alex walk away from her was almost unbearable.

Alex had said she didn't feel liberated, and neither did Maggie; she felt stifled and strangled and disoriented, because now _Alex_ didn't want _her_.


End file.
